When I was 8,
I thought death is cruel fate and is a punishment to the sinners.
The cadaver is buried or burnt to not leave any traces of the misdeeds, my grandparents say.
And after years, I realized,
death is a peaceful end to life,
a fullstop to existence, no commas, no continuations,
humans are mortal and not a renewable resource to spread love.
After all, death has one more letter than life and love.
One fine day will turn up,
on which I’ll depart from the world,
everyone and everything I loved.
I’ll breathe for the last time in life and my body with no heartbeat will be called “a corpse” and customs be carried out to discard it.
They’ll delicately lift me and put me into the casket.
My best friend know that I’m fond of good smells, she might suggest a sandalwood coffin, maybe.
My daughter gracefully carries the weight of woes but can’t bear the thorns in rose, adorn it with chrysanthemums, my mum would cry.
She drapes dreams as her dress and victory as her maquillage, dad would boast.
I would have written a note asking them to place things that makes my heart soft; my mother’s perfume,
the sea shells, stamps and the coins I collected, a cassette tape with evergreen songs, the love letters I wrote and received and lastly, his pictures to carry him forever in grave.
I’ll see people mourning, weeping and they’ll talk about everything
the places I travelled, the poems I penned, the my music I made and the way I lived.
I’ll go a drive through a nostalgia street and joyful days.
I’ll listen to the eulogies and funeral poems being read,
there are also tears falling from the sky, pansies accompany her, ocean water turns black and mourns; people add imageries and flatter me.
Who will cry when you die? If they ask.
Look at them I would say, proudly.
There he stands leaning on the wall, a funeral where my love for died, but I live,
my man would say to himself.
I trail him as shadows in disguise, showed him what love is, taught him what life is, but didn’t teach him to live without me…
and I would cry seeing him.
Thank you so much for reading!🌻