I open google docs and type this. I hear a neighbour yelling at the lean uncle who’s laying the road in our colony. I see a jasmine creeper dying. I feel heaviness in my head. My hair bun is heavy, I have to oil, comb and plait it before 6, before we switch on the street light, before the sunsets.
But today, I’m not gonna care about it. I’m gonna open the balcony door, lean on the wall, look at the sky. I want to offer space, time to my mind so that it gets the right to think.
I go through something, some changes every day, I think it is better to call it an evolution. Changes are momentary, constant changes evolve a person. My man, Darwin introduced me to the phrase “survival of the fittest”. I’ve seen a commerce student using this phrase. I was surprised. I had been thinking that only science students knew about Darwin, his theories. But no, if I can draw the code of a program, it’s no wrong if a CS student knew Darwin too.
I blink my eyes and come back to reality. I was taught about the hypothesis and contradictions in D’s. theory, there were times I think that he’s wrong, his predictions lacked proof said, my teachers.
But today in the twenty-first century, I think that we make slight changes in ourselves every second, every minute, every day and every time that wholesomely is what I call “evolution”. Society, its norms, its expectations, its wants are the factors affecting the pace of changes happening in me. And, I change to fit into society. I do it without thinking. But what do these changes do? It brings in an alteration in my mind, each time, each one.
As I think, as I type, I feel the shift in thoughts. I gaze at a tree in the park. I spot two birds. They aren’t crows or cuckoos. Beautiful birds, though. The baby hair covers my forehead and eyes. My fallen hair is growing back, I guess. I noticed my nails. I cut them a week back since I looked like a vampire but they grew up. I’m not trimming them this week. I decide to let them grow. New nails are more beautiful(hearts).
I lose, I lost a lot of hair. But there is new hair growing up. The gardener cuts the grasses in the lawn, yet they grow up. He chops them off with a heavy heart as they are so beautiful.
The garden, my scalp, my finger’s standard never go down since they lose. They remain the same as they are.
If this is so, we remain the same even when we lose people, right? People leaving and we losing them is part of the growth process, right? We probably grow with newer people and the cycle continues of losing, gaining. Those new people might be good for some time. The old ones are caught in my memories, like how I look at the pictures in which I had that old, long gorgeous hair that girls envy, that perfect nails with perfect paint. Like how the roots remember the chopped grass. Growth is beautiful. I love how it has both gain and loss. Nice math. Easy math. Nice.
Oh my, I got my senses back! I think about my to-do list. I have to put a tick mark. I have to pause my thoughts that shift like monkeys. It shifts branches, from science, philosophy to math. Let me go back to work. A full stop to ruminations.
I wrote this a few days back. I decided to post them here since the purpose of starting this blog was to vent out the weird thoughts and feelings I go through. But eventually, I began writing poems and this turned out to be a Poetry blog. I would probably post the rants I write and save in mobile notes, they’ll be unplanned, unedited and raw carrying true emotions and grammatical errors, may be 😶
Anddddddd my best friend got a blog in WordPress a month ago. He is a newbie writer and his site has poems, one-liners and meaningful ramblings. Click here and render him your fullest support! It would mean so much to him and me as well.
Have a great week ahead! Sending sunflowers all the way! 🌻❤