Happiness

Sometimes, happiness is too suffocating.
it looks as light as cotton in a cart,
but feels heavy, so heavy
and unbearable, sometimes.
For a person who aced the art of,
living through heartbreaks and disappointments,
happiness is a bulk emotion to process,
the impending fear of being broken, again,
the inability to face dismay, once again
– happiness IS a bulk emotion to process.

Case history of a depressed patient,
revealed that they had difficulty in –
swallowing food, breathing and sleeping
post a happy, joyful day.
‘Emotional hangover’ science calls.
Sometimes, happiness is too overwhelming.
My professor was always right,
when she said:
‘Happiness is subjective’.

I don’t want to carry happiness as my middle name,
because they say it comes with longing,
yearning, craving and a desire;
little did we know about the suffering
that also comes along with wait.

As constellations,
of undiscovered dots
and disconnected molecules,
happiness is strange and mysterious to –
those are prone to pain,
of chronic pain.

Loving in absence.

Crying in silence.

Hiding in deep sighs.

Rambling in journals.

Happiness is all this. all that.

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