Heartbreak

I don’t think i ever had a heartbreak,
but
there were moments when i cried like a madwoman after finding that one line in a sad song so relatable,
there were moments where i saw my dreams moving away to a distance that i can’t even see its presence anymore, they were shadowed by disappointments and misfortunes,
there were moments when i saw the one i love the most, shatter, split and submerge in the graveyard of grief.

I don’t think I ever had a heartbreak,
but there were moments where i couldn’t write but only bleed in form of words and cover those stains with bandaids of metaphors and hyperboles,
there were moments i asked my best friend about what else i am left with, about what else i have to lose,
there were moments when i just stare at a blank space or an empty chair or an empty glass and it reminding of the endless void ached me so much, but i don’t know why

I don’t think I ever had a heartbreak,
but there were moments when i had intense conversations with the mirror asking questions that have no answers,
there were moments i saw the closest circle of mine losing its form, the circle was no more a circle,
its of no dimension, it was disintegrated into useless arcs,
there were moments when i chose to sit in the last table of my city’s old library and read books, research papers on healing and recovery
there were moments when i glare at the full moon and called her a whore for not showing me the other side of her face, for betraying my tender heart like the mortals who are scattered here like dandelions that does not spread hope, does not signify growth, but blocks the nasal cavity and takes away life,

I don’t think I ever had a heartbreak
but there were moments when i decided to grind the letters, short notes i received in food processor and make handmade papers out of it, because if love had different forms, hate has its own too
There were moments i wanted to scream and ask, “why is your vision superficial”, to people who call my smile gorgeous.

And i don’t think i ever had a heartbreak,
But i’m sure, a heart that is made up of three layers of tissues cannot be broken,
maybe try stabbing, puncturing, or tearing it?
I hope you succeed.


Thank you so much for reading!

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33 thoughts on “Heartbreak

  1. I think, Hemalatha, that this poem/essay is one of the best you have written. I copied some parts that speak to my heart, and I cannot thank you enough for writing it!!

    Could I ask you to read my tomorrow’s post (24 December), as it is about the extraordinary Indian man
    whose life was made into a film? A comment would be appreciated as it is an utmost uplifting story and my tribute to this man and his wonderful country, India, that I love with a passion.
    Thank you!

    Joanna

    Liked by 2 people

  2. SMiLes Dear Hemalatha

    Love iS A Whole Ocean

    We aRe Fish What

    Happens When

    Fish Are Separated
    Now From An Ocean

    They Surely Don’t
    Drown They Slowly Suffocate

    What Makes Love An Ocean Now

    What Makes Fish Able to Breathe

    This Water And Never Suffocate

    They Swim They Swim They

    Never Stop Swimming

    The Water Deep

    And Blue

    Or Shallow
    And Clear They Swim
    They Swim They Never

    Stop Swimming Until they
    No Longer Breathe Water Free

    So Why Are So Many Humans Falling
    Away From the Water of Love the Whole
    Ocean And Suffocating Slowly Now This Way

    Yet Why Does the Hawk Rarely Fall From the Sky

    They Fly They Fly They Just Keep Flying And Sure

    Why Does the Monkey Rarely Fall From the Tree

    He Climbs He Climbs He or She Climbs And

    Just Never Stops Climbing Indeed

    Dear FRiEnD BeLieVE

    As i’m Spreading
    This Good News Today
    Originates From BeLeaf

    Originally to Mean BeLove

    The Fish is Water There is No
    Separation the Water Swims the Fish

    The Hawk Is Air and Wind There is No
    Separation the Air and Wind Flies The Hawk

    The Monkey Is the Climb The Tree Inspires

    There is No Real Separation the Monkey is the

    Tree And So Are We This Leaf of BeLeaf

    Yes BeLieve Yes BeLove As Long

    As We aRe Trees Of Love

    Holding Hands

    With All our

    Leaves Forest Whole
    Naked Enough Complete

    Being Love Yes Being Leaf
    Tree Forest Whole BeLove

    For It’s True As Long As We Do
    Who We Truly Are This Ocean of Love
    We Swim We Fly We Climb Even Deeper

    And Higher as Love Gains Fins, Wings, Yes

    And Hands That Just Never Stop Swimming,
    Flying, Climbing Love Now So Yes Be Leaf,

    Be Tree, Be Forest Whole Love BeLieve BeLove

    Yet Most Importantly Swim, Fly, Climb Love And Never Give Up

    Be Love

    Do Love

    mY FRiEnD With Love..:)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. absolutely brilliant Hema… you got me again… with your incredible reach…. although I am getting lazy now too… your words and the work you must put in to find them from or those places and you also put them in an order so others can read and feel them too is, I find, quite staggering….digging out one’s own bullets is hard enough doing it for others too is a spectacular achievement…. I am indebted with gratitude and the deepest respect Hema, thank you

    Liked by 1 person

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